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Sunday, January 18, 2015

Roman Tic and The Riddler Tie for First Place

We had a tie for first place in our 2015 LWC version of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest—or LWCBLFC, for short, because I'm sure you can all remember that. It was a night rife with exaggerated alliteration, grating metaphors, in-your-face clichés, forced passive constructions, lazy “telling,” melodramatic characters, muddled story worlds, and so much more.

Roman Tic penned the dreadful "romantica" DE SOUL earning her the tie for first place. If only she and Alexander Xavier Harper (who penned a horrid adults-only tale of flatulence and love of country called OH, WHAT A NIGHT) would form a writing partnership, I am certain the two could write some truly atrocious "erotica." Harper squeaked out a third-place win for his gem. If it’s any indication of just how ineffective their "lusty" tales were, the temperature in the room actually dropped a degree when they read.

The author known only as The Riddler earned the tied spot for first place. She wove a ludicrous little ditty of fishiness. It was so bad, according to The Riddler, that she deemed it not even worthy of a title.

Ima Morona earned second place with her moronic story of rage expressed through a Yoo-hoo bottle in a squalid motel parking lot. It was unimaginatively titled INKY CLOSTRIDIUM GETS MAD.

Don’t worry. If you didn’t get to participate this year, our third annual LWCBLFC is scheduled for January 2016. Get your noms de plume ready!


Anonymous said...

I could, should have been a contender but my effort was thought to be offensive as well as bad. Alexander Xavier Harper

Anonymous said...

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