Roman Tic and The Riddler Tie for First Place

We had a tie for first place in our 2015 LWC version of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest—or LWCBLFC, for short, because I'm sure you can all remember that. It was a night rife with exaggerated alliteration, grating metaphors, in-your-face clichés, forced passive constructions, lazy “telling,” melodramatic characters, muddled story worlds, and so much more.

Roman Tic penned the dreadful "romantica" DE SOUL earning her the tie for first place. If only she and Alexander Xavier Harper (who penned a horrid adults-only tale of flatulence and love of country called OH, WHAT A NIGHT) would form a writing partnership, I am certain the two could write some truly atrocious "erotica." Harper squeaked out a third-place win for his gem. If it’s any indication of just how ineffective their "lusty" tales were, the temperature in the room actually dropped a degree when they read.

The author known only as The Riddler earned the tied spot for first place. She wove a ludicrous little ditty of fishiness. It was so bad, according to The Riddler, that she deemed it not even worthy of a title.

Ima Morona earned second place with her moronic story of rage expressed through a Yoo-hoo bottle in a squalid motel parking lot. It was unimaginatively titled INKY CLOSTRIDIUM GETS MAD.

Don’t worry. If you didn’t get to participate this year, our third annual LWCBLFC is scheduled for January 2016. Get your noms de plume ready!

Bad-Writing Competition

The Living Writers Collective’s version of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

  Hello, Collectivians (that’s a great new word I’ve just invented), it is the time of year for our world renowned bad-writing competition. Maybe that should be Spring Hill renowned. In any event it will be held on Thursday evening, January 15, at the Excel building at Rippavilla from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. This event takes place annually and is sponsored by the Living Writers Collective Uncreative Writing Program, led by Alexander Xavier Harper.

Anyone interested in participating in this prestigious event should first consult "The Bulmer-Lytton Fiction Contest" by Googling the site, reading about the latest winners, and understanding the rules of how the contest is conducted. We use the same rules of combat.

Our official rules state that the winner of the contest will win a magnificent solid-gold trophy, the winner chosen by secret ballot of the members present. This year the rules have been modified to include entries from members not able to attend the meeting. Entries may be sent by electronic mail as an attachment to alexanderxavierharper@yahoo.com for inclusion into the competition. Entries by e-mail close at 12:00 midday, Thursday, January 15. Entries will be printed out by AXH and submitted to the selection committee.

 A winner not present at the meeting may claim his or her trophy (under the cover of darkness) from the home of AXH. It is generally expected that any member submitting entries use a nom de plume (for obvious reasons). A writer may create one or more entries using his or her writing skills to generate a short, concise paragraph that best describes the object of the competition, using humor or any other method to produce a fine work of crappy literature.

Alexander Xavier Harper January 2015

December Writers' Jam

Come join us at 7:00 p.m. on December 18 for our last Writers' Jam session of 2014. We will be judging the young writers' contest, and if there is time left over, we will dive into writing questions, tips, advice--anything you all want to bring. We will be in the Excel building at Rippavilla. See you there.

Our first session of 2015 falls on New Year's Day, so we will not meet for critique in January. Our first session of 2015 will be Writers' Jam on January 15. I'll get a 2015 calendar out in the next couple of weeks.

November 20 Writers' Jam Canceled

Writers' Jam on November 20 has been CANCELED due to the Excel building being unavailable now through Dec. 6 for a 150-year historic battle of Franklin event.

First Writers' Jam Session

Please join us Thursday, September 18, at 7:00 p.m. in the Excel building at Rippavilla Plantation for our first Writers' Jam session.

This will be a membership-directed session. Here are examples of how you can be prepared to contribute: bring your writing-related Q&As (we all learn from the questions of others); bring writing-related articles, book excerpts, book examples of techniques, etc. to read to the group; bring your own WIP, and let the group help you strengthen your writing. Anything is open (no critique readings--save those for critique sessions) as long as it deals with writing.

Landmark Booksellers Poetry Open-mic Night

LWC will not be having a poetry nite in July, but I want to encourage all of our poets and wordsmiths to attend Poetry Open-mic Night at Landmark Booksellers in downtown Franklin on Tuesday, July 29, at 7:00 p.m.

You can take your poetry notebook and read a few of your own, or you can just listen as others read, and be inspired. This is a great opportunity to "test drive" some of the poems you've been working on and polishing with the help of Ramon Presson's educational LWC poetry nites.

I have been to one of Landmark's poetry nights, and I know you will enjoy it.

Mary Ann Weakley Book Debut

YOU ARE INVITED
TO JOIN

Mary Ann Weakley

for the debut of her memoir

Monastery to Matrimony 
A Woman's Journey

Thursday, July 24, 2014

4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.

Spring Hill Public Library
144 Kedron Parkway
Spring Hill, TN
931-486-2932

Mary Ann was the publisher and editor of our LWC newsletter, Collective Connection; a member of our advisory committee; and the coordinator of our events. She was an active member of LWC for seven years (since the group's beginning) before her move to Florida last year. Mary Ann was also a member of the Council for the Written Word in Franklin, Tennessee, and is published in their anthology The Gathering. She was also a regular columnist in The Informer, a Spring Hill newspaper. Her book Monastery to Matrimony: A Woman's Journey is currently a finalist in the Florida Writers Association competition--Royal Palm Literary Awards.